Recovery Is About Hope

July – September 2026

Recovery Story: Tiru

RECOVERY IS ABOUT HOPE 

“Talking about recovery, that I can do very well. But when it comes to actually doing recovery, I am still learning.” 

Tiru has been coming to WE CARE for 9 years, but he hasn’t been able to stay clean for more than 10 months. He hasn’t worked in more than a year and won’t be able to till 2027 at the earliest. 

It would be easy to be discouraged, but he keeps going. I’ve known Tiru for 4 years, and this version of him feels different.   

On the surface it seems like things aren’t going well, but it’s not for a lack of trying – during these 9 years, he’s been to thousands of support group meetings, hundreds of counselling sessions, and has spent countless hours doing the stepwork that 12-step recovery groups like Alcoholics Anonymous are based on.  

As our interview ended, I asked him why he had not given up despite numerous relapses. At WE CARE, I’ve seen many give up for less. Familiar faces suddenly disappear, never to be seen again. 

“Hope,” he says, confidently and defiantly.  

The old Tiru would have said that all the effort he’s put in up to today has been wasted. After all, he doesn’t have much to show for it. But sitting with me in the room, Tiru 2.0 isn’t wallowing.   

Instead, he tells me, everything that’s happened in the past has led him to this moment. If anything, it’s given him more hope. Unfortunately, relapse is oftentimes part of the disease of addiction.   

Chasing Power, Losing Ground 

Despite starting to drink heavily at the age of 15, Tiru managed to graduate from polytechnic with a diploma. Abounding with hope, he had an image of how he wanted his life to turn out – a good job, a wife and a place to call their own. He tells me that the moment narcotics entered his life in his early 20s, he started on a downward slide that would last 12 years. Throughout those 12 years, he stopped pursuing his goals and instead started chasing dragons. 

He channeled the frustration and rage of a dysfunctional household into unlawful activities. You name it, he’s probably done it. And throughout, he strove for the kind of status and power that typically comes with a few stints in jail. As twisted as it sounds, serving a long prison sentence added to the allure of wielding that status and power. 

Yes, the 12 years provided him with many highs – some of which he explained as fireworks in his head – but throughout those years there was an undercurrent of hopelessness. He had no dreams; no aspiration towards anything. He found himself cushioning a dead end with substance and money, convincing himself that there was no better place to be.  

Inevitably, the constant game of cat and mouse wore Tiru out. He had (somewhat) attained the status and power he had set out for at 15, only to find that it wasn’t all it was made out to be. The frustration and rage that he had tried to bury were still there. Many addicts think suppressing pain and trauma will work, but that relief is usually temporary.  

Sooner or later, the demons creep back up and remind you that unless you let them out, they are happy consuming you inside. 

The First Step Back 

I’ve known Tiru ever since I got into recovery, and it’s apparent to me that the major inflection points in his recovery journey were inspired by those around him.  

The first inflection point – and ultimately the start of his recovery journey – was in 2017 when he dragged himself to the detox ward of the National Addictions Management Service (NAMS).  

He only found the motivation to make the journey to Buangkok after seeing a close friend do the same. It worked for him, so Tiru felt that it might too for him.  

And it in the cold, quiet wards of NAMS, amidst the intense heroin and alcohol withdrawals that hope reintroduced itself in the form of NA, AA and WE CARE’s outreach efforts. Tiru knew that upon discharge he could not go back to living in isolation and decided to give WE CARE a try. 

Recovery requires a person to open up – to their counsellors, at support group meetings, and ultimately to themselves. The idea is that addiction is just a symptom, and that it is fueled by things lying beneath the surface. Only by processing the issues that lie beneath the surface can real recovery happen.  

This was a real stumbling block for Tiru, because he had spent more than 20 years living a life where vulnerability and showing feelings were forbidden. In that life, vulnerability was seen as a sign of weakness.  

With the help of his first counsellor, he found his footing in recovery. Slowly, as he experienced unconditional love from his counsellor, Sida, for the first time, the walls that he worked so hard to put up came down. He also met more people who were further along in recovery. Hope gradually increased, and Tiru finally got a taste of the life he truly wanted. As they say, the seed of recovery had been planted. 

That did not stop the relapses from happening, but Tiru kept coming back.  

Finding Courage To Go On 

He told me of another major inflection point, when he mustered the courage to face and work on his childhood trauma with his second WE CARE counsellor. This grit emerged when he saw the positive changes in another fellow beneficiary. Another inflection point inspired by someone around him. 

Working with his new counsellor and doing step work with a sponsor forced Tiru to face the very reason why he started using drugs in the first place. Going deep into his psyche was extremely tough and painful, but was also when he made the most progress. Together with tirelessly attending support group meetings located around Singapore, he chipped away at his walls.  

There is a misconception that once you get into recovery, everything starts to be rosy. This, however, cannot be further from the truth. The triggers and urges remain, and life continues to throw curve balls. 

The biggest one came in the form of a foot infection, which he got during his longest stint of sobriety. The infection forced him to stop working – something he was deriving a great deal of esteem from – and was so bad that he had to start using crutches.  

Self-pity eventually got the best of him, and he relapsed again. For about a year, he would periodically limp into the centre, and disappear again for a few weeks. Only early this year did the crutches finally come off – the infection is gone, but a deformity resulting from improper healing means that he has one more operation to get through. 

Better Than Yesterday 

Tiru’s story is the perfect example that recovery for each person looks different and is never linear.  

It’s also a reminder that when it comes to recovery, quantifying success is tough. The number of years someone has been able to stay clean is the primary marker of success, but there is so much more.  

It is about internal changes – behaviour and perspective. For Tiru, recovery is not a straight line to be measured in milestones alone, but a long return to self. His journey is a lesson for us all, that no matter how many times you fail, the most important thing is that you get back up. 

The undercurrent of hopelessness has washed away, and it’s been replaced by a quiet sense of hope. And that’s what drives him to keep coming back.  

By Jat and Tiru 

Jat is on the WE CARE Comms team