Once He Was a Step from Death, Now He's on the Path of Recovery

September 2025

Recovery Story: Thomas

Standing on the parapet, trying to muster the courage to jump, Thomas Koh found he lacked the courage to do so. If he could not take his own life, what then could he do?  

One word came to mind, and that was “recovery”.  

His journey into alcohol and drug addiction started when he was young. He came from a dysfunctional family, where his father was a gambler who would get violent when he lost a lot of money at gambling. Often, Thomas and his mother and siblings would have to run away at night and seek shelter in someone else’s home.  

When his father was incarcerated for criminal breach of trust, he and his brother had to work to supplement his mother’s meagre income. Thomas started selling newspapers and with the money he earned, was able to buy the food he wanted. He associated money with power, and desired to be rich and independent. That way, he could also help his family get out of poverty.  

At 11 years old, he had his first drink of alcohol and found he liked the feeling of oblivion it gave him. It also emboldened him, giving him the courage to speak up. At 15, he took his first illicit drug, and the feeling was headier and more intense. He loved the feeling of disassociation it gave him and he began to chase the “high”, not knowing it was becoming addictive behaviour.  

Driven by his hunger to become rich and better than others, he worked harder than all his peers. After completing his National Service, he worked as a salesman and quickly rose to the rank of Sales Manager, and later Senior Sales Manager. However, when the stresses of the job got to him, he would disappear to take drugs.

Many times, he experienced blackouts and could not recall what had happened. These sprees where he drank and took drugs soon affected his performance at work. He did not know how to live life without the aid of alcohol and drugs. Thomas candidly admits that his relationship with his family members became strained, and his friendships were very transactional.

“I became a very self-centered person,” he shares.  

He went for his first detoxification programme with NAMS (National Addictions Management Service) at IMH (Institute of Mental Health) and soon came to WE CARE after he was discharged from NAMS. He describes WE CARE as a place where he sought shelter from the stresses of life and work. However, he continued with his drinking and use of drugs.

After completing his first detoxification, his idea of recovery was merely stopping the use of illicit substances through self-will and nothing else.

In the ensuing years, he went for three more detoxifications and shares that by the time he went for his fourth detoxification, he was a very broken man. He admitted he no longer had any self-confidence, was unable to speak well (a skill that is crucial to salesmanship), faced many health issues and had many pending police cases, plus he was going through divorce. 

It was at this point in time, when after having lost everything, he contemplated suicide.

After his wife left him, he no longer had anyone to support him. Though he has the contact numbers of 200 friends on his phone, Thomas could not call a single one to tell them of his problems. He felt he could not connect with any one of them. He was drowning in pain and hopelessness, and this led to him standing on the parapet, contemplating the idea of ending his life. 

But he could not muster the courage to jump off. It was then that the word “recovery” came to his mind.

He decided to go for his final detoxification. This time round, he shares he was “like a blank sheet of paper”, where he followed what was taught to him. He was truly at rock bottom and became very humble and teachable. 

During his three-week stay at IMH, he met two volunteers who made a significant impact on his life. One was HIV-positive as a result of drug use, while the other had had his arm amputated due to gangrene brought on by drug use. However, despite their physical infirmities, they were happy people who invited him to join a support group for recovering addicts.

When he saw the joy and purpose in their lives despite their physical infirmities, he felt for the first time that his situation was not hopeless. Hope blossomed within him and he was eager to find out how people recover from addiction. 

He committed to devoting his time to full-time recovery. He spent most of his time with recovering addicts — attending support group meetings and just hanging out together socially.  

When he completed a year of sobriety, he attended WE CARE’s Finishers Award and was given the one-year medal. His father attended, went up to him and hugged him, despite their relationship being strained.

It was then he realised that with the right attitude, anyone could recover. Being clean for one year gave him the courage to continue on in his recovery journey.  

While he was at WE CARE, he was incarcerated for his drug consumption. Although It was a short stint, he was amazed that some inmates could live for 10 to 20 years with just a small bag of toiletries. Thomas then realised that he did not have to accumulate wealth or rely on the praise of others in order to feel good.  

After his release from prison, he volunteered at IMH, as he believed (and still does) that recovery is all about giving back and helping others get well. He was soon invited to be a peer support specialist and served in that capacity for five years. After earning his Masters in Counselling from Swinburne University of Technology from Melbourne, Australia, Thomas became a counsellor at IMH.

Today, he serves as a counsellor and Centre Manager at WE CARE, and received his 10th year award at the 19th Finisher Awards on 17 July 2025.   

In total, the eleven years since hitting rock bottom have been incredibly fulfilling. He got married again after dating his then-girlfriend for a year, and is now a proud father of two beautiful daughters. He has reconciled with his mother and siblings. Thomas has also come to understand that what he really wants in life are not the things he thought he wanted when he was young — wealth and making a name for himself.

Happiness comes from the inside, he shares, and living a life focused on helping others brings him great joy and fulfilment.  

He stresses on the need to separate the person from the disease (addiction) and the importance of learning to be vulnerable and talking about our issues in recovery. “Once we share them with others and listen to others’ sharings, we soon realise we are not the only ones suffering from distorted thinking,” he says.  

He is passionate about journeying with those who want to recover from addiction, as from first-hand experience, he knows all too well how lonely the life of an addict is. “No one can do it alone. It is easier to have a buddy.”  

“No matter how shameful your past, your journey can be an inspiration to others,” he adds.  

 

By Ann and Thomas 

Ann is a recovering person who first came to WE CARE in February 2024.