Compulsive Sex, Love & Porn Use

Constantly seeking a sexual partner or new romance?

The lack of ability to curb sexual behaviours can cause substantial distress to one’s emotional health and can have an adverse impact on close intimate relationships.

Sex addicts lack the ability to control or postpone sexual feelings and actions, with the need for arousal often replacing the need for intimacy. Eventually, thrill-seeking becomes more important than family, career, even personal health and safety.

There is a ritual before leading to acting out on desires. Often the most pleasurable aspect of acting out sexually is in the preoccupation of the act: the planning, plotting and anticipation of the behaviour. After that, the individual feels shame, despair, and confusion. The cycle repeats itself.

Addictive sexuality is like most compulsive behaviour: a destructive twist on a normal life-enhancing activity. Defining sex addiction depends less on the behaviour itself than on the person's motivation.

Love addicts go through life with desperate hopes and constant fears. Fearing rejection, pain, unfamiliar experiences, and having little faith in their ability or right to inspire love, they wait and wish for love, perhaps their least familiar real experience.

Signs of Love or Sex Addiction Include:

• Constantly seeking a sexual partner or new romance 
• An inability or difficulty in being alone
• Consistently choosing partners who are abusive or emotionally unavailable
• Using sex, seduction and intrigue to "hook" or hold onto a partner
• Using sex or romantic intensity to tolerate difficult experiences or emotions
• Missing out on important family, career or social experiences in order to maintain a sexual high or romantic relationship
• When in a relationship, being detached or unhappy, when out of a relationship, feeling desperate and alone
• Avoiding sex or relationships for long periods of time to "solve the problem".
• An inability to leave unhealthy relationships despite repeated promises to self or others
• Returning to previously unmanageable or painful relationships despite promises to self or others
• Mistaking sexual experiences and romantic intensity for love

As Patrick Carnes states, “Contrary to enjoying sex as a self-affirming source of physical pleasure, the sex addict has learned to rely on sex for comfort from pain, for nurturing or relief from stress,” comparable to the alcoholic’s purposeful use of alcohol.

 

Help & Treatment

You do not need to suffer from sex addiction to seek professional help. If you find yourself acting out sexually, seeking professional help early can help to reduce the harmful consequences 

Screening - The aim of the initial session is to identify the presence of acting out and/or effect of negative consequences of acting out. Any other existing mental health conditions are screened for in order to provide a deeper understanding of the client. 

Assessment - This is a comprehensive understanding of the severity and depth of the acting out in the context of the client life's situation. The individual's strengths, weaknesses, problems and needs are accounted in order to collaborate an effective solution. Potential risks are also discussed to integrate into the treatment planning. 

Treatment Planning + Counselling - The treatment plan is tailored to the client's needs. Immediate and long-term goals are established. A discussion of WE CARE's holistic services is included in the treatment planning.

 

SPLA (Sex Porn Love Addiction) Recovery Programme

The SPLA (Sex Porn Love Addiction) Recovery Programme is a structured therapy programme designed for people with sex, pornography and love addictions. Counselling is provided by trained addiction specialists.

Basic programme components:

• 6 individual sessions
• 2 family sessions (optional)
• 4 group sessions (optional)

Depending on needs, some clients may require further sessions after the initial phase of the programme.

To find out more about our Sex, Love and Porn addiction counselling programme, click here.